Tuesday, October 6, 2015

Obstacle Course: The Mine Field

In our obstacle courses, we often come across people who act like mine fields to us. Toxic people want to destroy your happiness and cause as much disruption and devistation as possible. You know the warning signs, but sometimes you miss them and things explode in your face.

How can you possibly avoid this obstacle in life? I don't think you can ever fully avoid coming across this obstacle, but you can minimize the damage. Some of these mine fields come up unexpected and aren't even marked well. There are basically three types of minefields that you'll come accross.

First: Family and friends... people you know. When you know someone is clearly toxic with an explosive personality or someone who loves to stir up extra drama, it can be very difficult. Especially when they're related to you. You may feel preasure to keep them from guilt of family bonds.

Second: There will sometimes be people in your life that you just can't remove completely for some reason. It may be a parent or caregiver or even someone who relies on you for care. While you may be able to eventually work even these negative influences from your life, some situations may be beyond your control.

Third: These are the people who you encounter for short periods of time. They are hard to avoid because you didn't plan on encountering them.

Remove the toxic people from your life. You don't need them. I know this can be hard if they are family, but if they are toxic... they're toxic. You don't need toxic in your life. You need love, support, and encouragement. People will blow up for no reason and create chaos for you to clean up. If someone is dragging you down, don't have anything to do with them. Or at the very least, limit how much you deal with them.

Then... in those times when you simply can't avoid these people, remember that they are responsible for themselves and you can only control your reaction to them. Look for the signs, make your own bomb detector for the people who don't have their minefield marked, and when something explodes, mark it to stay clear next time.

When you minimize the toxic people and learn how to identify them, you will find that your life will be much happier and you will enjoy a freedom you couldn't possibly experience when walking among the mine fields.


Saturday, October 3, 2015

Stepping Stones

As I mentioned before, we need to take one step at a time and lay our own path toward our own goals. We can't make the entire journey in one step. Life and goals are all part of a process that we need to experience. Everyone has their own journey.

As such, we can't sit back and expect the stepping stones to simply appear before us and to float along the path. It takes effort. We must lay the stones ourself and at times we need to make an adjustment to our placement.

There will be times when we lay a stone in a place we think will lead us well, but then we discover a new obstacle and need to adjust. Not all adjustments will be easy either. We may even resent it. Esepecially if we need to take a step or two b

ack and reevaluate, losing what we deem as valuable, hard work gone to waste. But, if you hadn't done that hard work, you wouldn't have known that you needed to take a step back. So, as long as you're moving and working toward your goal, even these adjustments are not wasted effort.

I'm taking my steps. I'm moving forward. I'm putting myself out there so everyone can see my work. 

Not all projects work. Some are bound to flop, but I'm learning and growing along the way. What I do with the knowledge is what determines my next step. The information gathered from each step adds to my knowledge. It is a cycle of life and the way we choose to look at it will determine the outcome.

My main obstacle is visibility. My readers enjoy my writing, but with all the unknown number of writers out there, my work is still (relatively) invisible. So, I'm taking steps to get my skills seen. You may or may not always know that it's my work, but the more I write the better I get. The better I get, the more I will be noticed. The more I'm noticed, the more successful I become.

So, I win. 

If you like my articles, please let me know by leaving a comment below. Share it for others to enjoy, follow me so you don't miss any future posts. Let me know what part you enjoy.

Thursday, October 1, 2015

Synchronicity Revisited

I've already spoken about synchronicity before, but today I had a new case in my life. On top of many other things, we've been experiencing car problems. Our car continues to die on us and we continue to get it fixed. Where we live, there is no real option.

I think just about everyone knows how this process goes... If you want a job, you need a car. If you have a job, you REALLY need a car. When your car dies, you can't drive to work. When you can't go to work, you have no money. When you have no money you can't get your car (or get it fixed). When you can't get it fixed, you can't go to work.

This is the 2nd time within a month's time that our car has died. Same issue. We got it "fixed" but the new part was faulty and it caused MORE damage too. Anyway, we had to walk from home to the mechanics. We couldn't get a hold of anyone that could give us a ride. We're 15 miles away from the car shop. Yes.. 15+ miles... and we walked.

Hubby went, because he needs the car for work. I went with him so he didn't have to go alone. If he had to suffer, I would be by his side. We walked almost 8 miles together. By that point my husband, who has issues anyway, couldn't walk well. One of us had to get to the car. So, I took a full bottle of water from the bag he'd carried and I continued alone while he struggled to get as far as he could. I managed to walk 9.5 miles (the last one was a constant incline) before I couldn't make it farther. I asked all the powers in the universe to

bring me a ride that I could trust. The universe answered... A neighbor that I have spoken with, but not recently, saw me and stopped.

What in the world does this have to do with writing? This blog is about writing and books, right?

Yes, it is. 

What I'm trying to get at is that I kept going. I pushed myself to my known limit and beyond. I had a determination. It HAD to get done. I couldn't give up on my goal simply because it was difficult or that I was alone. Even the distance I'd walked with my husband was more than I'd ever done before. And to push on without him... I proved to him, but more importantly to myself, that I could do it.

I'd decided to change my previous M.O. (my habit of giving up and not finishing). This was evidence of that promise I'd made to myself. I made the decision. I'm not "trying" anymore... I'm DOING.

I will reach my goals. It will be a struggle, there are times I will have to go it alone, and there's nothing wrong with having some help along the way. If you push yourself and know in your heart that you will reach your goal, things will work out for the best.

Syncronicity will peek into your life more and more often. You can make your dreams a reality. My dreams of being a successful writer. They are already true. I certainly haven't made it rich, but my readers enjoy what I produce. And I know that the word about my writing is spreading. I'm not sitting back and waiting either. I'm taking steps toward my goal and finding more outlets for my gift.

I am not giving up... I am pushing forward past the limits I thought I had. Synchronicity will appear in my future as it already has. I will make it to my goal because I NEED to. My desire, drive, and determination will no longer allow me to sit at the roadside and wallow in pity.